Embarassing...

It was a busy day at Wal-mart. I do not like Wal-mart when it is busy.

Because busy Wal-marts include:

• crowded parking lots
• accidently hitting the side of your hip on others' shopping carts
• seeing people you feel you should say hi to, but you kinda wanna shop and leave
• long lines in self-checkout

That's about it though, so not too bad. Anyways - Carston needed a "legal adult" (heheh :D) to purchase a mature video game for him. So, being the sister I am, I drove him there with every intention to assist him in buying this game.

After I did so, Carston wanted to look around more at the other games. I wasn't all for this, being that, like I said, Wal-mart was all crowded and what not, and also I had practice in less then 10 minutes. But - he's pretty persuasive, so I follow him to the entertainment aisle while he window shopped.

"Carst, can we go now?"

"Just a sec..."

*Sigh*..

3 minutes later...

"Carston, I'm gonna be late, can we go now?"

"Just a sec..."

*Sigh*

2 minutes later...

"Carston, seriously, let's go.."

"Just a sec..."

Finally, I blew my top, and in my loudest voice I can presently muster, I yelled

"OH MY GOSH, CARSTON!! I HAVE NO SECS!!!" (In case you're having an off day, and don't get why this is embarassing, "secs" sounds exactly like "sex" when yelled, or said for that matter...

Realizing what I had just said in a loud voice..I looked around frantically and started to blush.

Yup. I was heard..and laughed at..alot..only by a few kids though..and I'm pretty sure the check out guy in that department heard..'cuz I saw him snickering when I walked past him..

Welpp - after I revealed my secs life to everyone shopping in the entertainment section..carston finally decided it was time to go home..

I guess whatever does the trick.. =/

Pet Peeves?

We all have them. Little nit picky things that drive us crazy. And today, someone peeved me. So much so, I specifically recall turning around in my chair to face Jordan and saying "I should blog about this." I've ignored it for quite some time, generally because I'm usually too tired or lazy at school to really care, but for some reason, I was alive enough to show emotions of anger towards the person who participated in peeving me. What is this pet peeve?

It may seem silly, but I like the little blue magnent that states my name and soccer number that adorns my locker. It's cute, and laminated! But I like it BEST because..I would not otherwise know where the flip my locker is..

So when some young hooligan slides it to the locker next to mine, or, in this morning's case, inside of Chelsea's locker, I do not much appreciate it. It's awkward when you open up your neighbor's locker thinking its yours, and then turn around to find that they are right behind you, wondering why you are in their locker. But I've never complained! until now, that is.

Wanna know something else? I don't often ask, but when I do say "What's up?" I do not like it when people respond with "the sky". Obviously - I know the sky is up... It just kinda erks me.

Another thing I'm not particularly fond of is how my dad shows affection towards me. We've never been the family to hug and kiss much, which is fine, but to replace it, whenever dad wants to show me affection, he just kinda..pinches my ear and snickers..it's weird to me..I think I'd rather be hugged.

I don't like HeadOn commercials..but I think those were made to be pet peeves..

And the squeaky noise my car makes when i break..But that's not a pet peeve..no..that's death

Hmm, otherwise, I'm pretty easy going.. but, I wouldn't mind knowing one of YOUR pet peeves! No matter how silly! :) do it.

Ouch =(

Today, something weird happened.

Given - weird things are recorded alot in this blog.. but this particular weird thing has never ever ever happened to me before!

A few hours ago, I took a itty bitty nap. It wasn't for very long, but long enough for my entire leg to fall asleep.

I woke up to the sound of my mom's voice yelling at me to look at something on the TV. I shot up, and without thinking lept out of my bed.

Being that my leg was completely asleep, I made it about 3 steps until my legs collapsed from under me. I dove head first into my dresser.

It gets better: My curling iron fell on my face..

Best part: The curling iron was on, because I wanted to see if I could curl it like Shirley Temple before my nap..and I forgot to turn it off..

So yeah...I don't think I have a concussion..not that I would know what one feels like, although I do have a nasty headache..but It distracts from the seering pain on my face..

Potential FML? I think so..

Sandbox days

Today when I was suppose to be paying attention in powerplus, I decided not to. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy this time =/ but, I felt like doozing.

So, as I..doozed..I thought about my days at Roanokae. None of you have ever had the immense joy of knowing me, but honestly, you probably wouldn't like me much..I was kind of..off beat.

But I was really little! We're all a little strange as youngin's..
I just happened to remember only the weird stuff I did or just remember as a kid. So - reader, if you'd like, picture 18 year old Kenzie when you read what's next to come in my days at Roanoke Elementary.

Kindergarten:
- I use to make this weird hand motion with my hands 24/7. My parents got worried that it was some psychological disfunction.
- I couldn't cut straight..for beans..Mrs. Braden thought that was cute. So, whenever we had to cut curvy and wavey things, the teacher told the class to "Cut like Kenzie"
- I ate paste. Not that weird though.
- To help us remember that "Q" and "U" always go together, its customary for class to hold a wedding ceremony for Mrs. U and Mr. Q. I, of course, had to be the one to ask why they get divorced every year.

1st grade:
- Broke my arm falling off my pool table because I was walking backwards
- Cried alot, cuz that's the grade Jeffery Burns and Matt Tumble learned what "dick" meant.
- I looked forward to butter and bread day at lunch more then Christmas...
- I won the Roanoke coloring contest. I won a bag of M&M's and a stuffed bunny rabbit. But it was never about the prize.. I colored the best out of everyone in town..that kept me going..

2nd grade:
- I made friends with a girl just so she'd invite me to "eat with the principal and a friend" day with her.
- I stole paperclips from the teacher and gave them to Levi 'cuz he liked them and I wanted him to like me..I got caught..and that was the first time I remember getting in trouble at school.
- I peed my pants at recess because I was having to much fun playing cops and robbers that I didn't wanna go inside..but I had to anyway..to change pants..
- I had my first crush, Ross Oches. I use to chase him everyday on the playground. I always caught him, but he'd stick his gross red retainer out at me, so I'd freak out and let him go.
- We got my dog Gretchen. Dad said one of us could name the dog, one of us could name the new car.. Guess which one I picked to name...I miss White Lightening...
- I chucked at 8 ball at my babysitter's face..hit him right in the kisser.
- This is when I started eating paper. Like, my homework.. swallow and everything..big surprise though, I ate everything at that age..but I loved paper..

3rd grade:
- I wasn't allowed to be in "flower power" club 'cuz the girls thought I was too chubby.
- My best friend was also fellow chubbster named Keric. He use to pay me to give him Karate lessons..even though I was only an orange belt..
- He also use to give me free pokemon cards. It took me forever to convince him to give me the "Mew" card
- I got into a bus crash and hit my head on the window. This probably explains alot.
- No one. No one. No one. Would marry me. It was custom to get married on top of the slide then kiss on the way down to the bottom. I proposed to Niko, but he said no..I think it was because the week before he asked me if he would go to hell for swearing..I told him yes..
- I had the biggest gel pen collection in the entire class..I was so proud..but my cubby partner stole them..shattered my world..
- Until this grade, I thought it was ok for girls to run around with their shirts off..so me and all the neighbor boys would have squirt gun fights.. they never told me I was suppose to keep my shirt on..third grade, readers.. <---I'll regret posting this later..
- I found my presents from Santa in the shower downstairs..mom told me Santa came early this year cuz he was getting tired of going everywhere in one night... I believe her...

4th grade:
- my first and only "in school suspention". Chelsea Hallock pulled my hair and yelled "MOOOOO!" (If this was for fun, or because of my "heffer-like" stature, I'll never know) So I tackled her on the ground so I could pull her hair so she knew how it felt,.
- I got a C- on my test. I told Emily that if my dad found out he'd whip me. She told the teacher, who freaked out and almost got the police involved, but after he talked to me, I came clean..lots of trouble for that one...
- My 2nd crush, Jarrod Hunnicut. He was a 5th graderand he kinda looked like Harry Potter..so I thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread..
- I had so many beanie babies it would blow your mind
- My teacher, Mr. Wittenburger, used to spank us kids on our birthdays....why did I never question this....I should tell my parents...


Ohhhh, there's more for sure, but I'm getting almost as tired typing this as you are reading this nonsense. However - I appreciate your devotion to my blog even still, and I hope you'll still talk to me even though you know all my childhood secrets :)

"Happy" Birthday Makenzie!

Madison - I dedicate this blog post to you. :) But I did leave some details out so as to not embarass as much..



I believe it was a Friday, but not just any Friday. It just so happened to be my birthday. Maybe some people go out and smoke cigars, visit Boudoir Noir, or buy white out when they first turn eighteen. To each his own. But I decided to celebrate my birth is the lamest way possible.



This involves: Putting on my PJ's, popping in "She's The Man", climbing into bed, snuggling under the covers, and solving sodokus. mmmm :) My kind of night.



But being that this is, after all, my life I happen to be narrating, you can probably figure that this is not how my evening went.



I had barely started on my first sodoku (challenger level, ftw!) when I received a text from one of my friends I met on a missions trip last summer, Kylee.



Kylee is dear to my heart..but girl is crazy..



Anyway- she texted me saying she wanted to take me out for my birthday. Starbucks and a movie. Sounds good, yes? So I agree.



about 15 minutes later, I hear THE loudest truck I have ever heard drive through my neighbor hood and pull into my driveway. It must have disturbed half of my neighbors.. My mom comes into my room looking puzzled.



"Someone's here for you.."



Sitting in this truck was Kylee, waving wildly at me and screaming "Giiiiiiiiit innnnnn, giiirrllllfrriieennnddd!", a HUMONGOUS twenty-some year old guy who looked kinda mad, and another boy, named Travis, who was wearing lots of camo and was sporting a tooth pick in the corner of his mouth.



Picture these kids as the most die-hard countryfolk/4H/bumpkins you've ever seen. ok? ok. Moving on..



So, I climbed into the extremely loud pick up truck. Literally, climbed, strap myself in the back, and fold my legs up to my chin, thinking that it would protect me better.



Kylee began blaring Kenny Chesney on the radio as we pulled into the Starbucks drive thru. Now, Goliath and Travis have never been to Starbucks before, so the menu items were very foreign to them.



"Whatcha want?" Goliath yelled at me from the drivers seat.

"Uhm.. a caramel apple spice, please?" I answered in a semi-shakey voice.

"VANILLA FRAPPACHINOOO!" Kylee exclaimed.



Goliath relayed our orders something like "I'd like uh small karmil appul spyce 'N uh small V'nilla Frackanono"



Well, we pulled up to the drive thru window.. some awkward conversations were exchanged. Kylee spent awhile harrassing the poor barista, finally we drove away, but not to the movie.



Just a gas station, but for some reason, we didn't get gas. Turns out, countryfolk consider this fun, pulling into gas stations and doing who-knows-what for ten minutes. They like to talk about gas alot too..I know more about diesel then I ever desired.



While waiting in the car for Travis to be done with his gas station buisness, I sat in awkward silence while Kylee punch danced to her darn country music. Then out of no where she screamed



"OHHH MYYYY GOOOSSHHHH!!! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS CARROT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It was the biggest freakin' carrot I have ever seen...
Kylee then had the brilliant idea of writing her phone number on this monster carrot and giving to "some guy at starbucks" ...hahaha.

But Goliath had other plans for the carrot, "Don't tuch that. Muh bruthers gunna give that to his girl!"

Kylee ignored this.
So, we went through the drive thru..again..tormented the barista at the window...again..
And the whole time I'm in the back of this freakin' huge pick up wishing I was home with my sodokus.. :(

Finally we went to the movie. I could finally relax and watch "Where the Wild Things Are"..
But Goliath, Travis, and Kylee decided I would have more fun at Saw V...But I actually get really squeemish with those movies..

Finally, after a second stop at the gas station (no gas this time either) they took me home. I imagine they woke up the majority of the neighbors..but it's whatever..

I think it's one of those "you-had-to-be-there" moments...
But that's that..
What a birthday!

Yes, Honey, You Were Like That at That Age..

^^^^
That was always mom's answer to my frequently asked question: "Was I ever like that when I was 'such -n-such' years old??" Usually I only asked this after witnessing/hearing about some juvenile thing Carston did/said. But I never believed her..until today.

Because today was "take-a-roll-of-garbage-bags-and-throw-out-everything-you're-not-taking-to-college" day. I've been looking forward to this day for about four years. Oh how I love to get rid of things! Going through all of my crud, I stumbled upon something priceless. Not in the "I'm gonna save it forever way" though. More like "OMG I can't believe I was like this" way...

My diary!!

It only accounts for 1.5 years of my life. Turns out, telling yourself about yourself gets tedious...but boy did it entertain me today! Here is a small compilation of the ridiculous-ness that made up this diary:

- A list of everything I knew about my unattainable celebrity boyfriend, Ryan Cabrera. I forgot his middle name was Frank...

- Apparently I mailed a letter to Ryan Cabrera July 18th, 2006...with my number attached telling him to call me..I guess I'm still waiting on this call..

- A list of tee-shirt sayings I fancied. They were really cheesy..we're talking fruity stuff like: "think smart, think single.", "Make cookies, not war", "I'm a pepper", and "Heart breaker"

- Like 6 entries about a guy named Brad. Apparently, I had a big crush on him. According to diary, I only spoke to him once, but he had a six pack, so we were meant to be. Oh, and I actually referred to "Brad" as "Brad the hunk"..no, I'm not kidding..

- Fruity sayings that I probably stole off of some magnents such as: "If you're gonna walk on
thin ice, you might as well dance!"

- the acronym BFF ... like one hundred times...

- about 3 entries claiming my dad hates me and is out to ruin my life.. (typical.)

- I guess I use to think Starbucks coffee didn't count as real coffee... what??

- Lots of doodles of rainbows, ponies, hearts, flowers, balloons, and any other marshmallow from
Lucky Charms you can think of...

- I use to think the chunky guy from Fall Out Boy was hot

- I use to spell hot - hawtt.

- I also liked JoJo... who's jojo???

- I apparently loved my diary.. cuz at the end of each entry I signed off "LOVE YA ~ KENZIE LOU"

- A boy with a car use to like me. I made it very very very clear to my diary that he had a CAR

- I use to like stickers alot. Especially ones with Kelly Clarkson's, Hilary Duff's, and Greenday's faces on them.

- I used the word "weasel" alot. It's a very negative word...

There's plenty more.. but I think I've embarassed myself enough for one blog post.. ugh. Kids. You'd think that I would've gotten all sentimental and kept it to remind myself how cute I was..

Nope. I threw that sucker away.

Ohhh Conventionalism :)

Just thought it was cute :) Thought I'd post something that didn't require much reading.

Merry Christmas Eve Makenzie!

Yes, I know. Christmas was like 20 days ago.. so me telling this story might appear as if I'm bitter. But I promise you! I'm not! Anymore.. However, I have been persuaded to share with you, dear reader, my barely unique Christmas Eve 2009 experience:

It's not nearly as funny without the voices..but if you'll bear with me, I'll try my best..

It all started when Grandma-G fell down the stairs...

If you are in any way, even internally, laughing, you should be ashamed! She broke her hip! :(
I love my grandma, really I do.. but she is quite another blog post..

So of course, I'm saddened by the fact that grandma was hurt and had to live with us for awhile. So I did what any girl would do in search of a fix to get herself back in the Christmas spirit...

I got starbucks :)

But I did not go alone. No, my dear brother, (for the purpose of respecting his privacy, we will use a pseudonym) "Shmarshton" asked to accompany me. I thought this would be lovely! Brother/Sister quality time! Not so though, because Shmarshton had pre-planned that his lady-friend, "Shmay - Shmin" would be joining us.

BUT THAT'S OK! I love Shmay - Shmin. She is a dear friend, and has been for years. But since her and my little brother's relationship blossomed, I've felt..awkward..ya know?
And, maybe I'm taking a stab in the dark here, but I find it even more awkward when I spontaneously end up going on their dates with them..by myself..

Anyway, so, Brother/Sister time at Starbucks didn't qute go as planned.. BUT THAT'S OK! Because soon the family would be off to Ohio to celebrate Christmas with father's family at my Grandma and Grandpa's house. Dick tradition :)

But I accidently stuffed myself full of buffalo. Oh! Yes, my grandparents have a buffalo farm, so it's tradition to eat lots of buffalo at our family get togethers, but I definitely over indulged this year.

So, by the time I got home, I was ready to fall into bed to sleep off my severe stomach ache in a buffalo - induced coma. But to my dismay, all my pillows were gone! I looked for them everywhere, only to find that they were piled under Grandma G's neck, butt, and feet.

BUT THAT'S OK! I can sleep on anything, literally. So I snuggled into my pillow-less-but-none-the-less-comfortable bed and embraced its warmth. But within 3 minutes, I was rudely awaken by the sound of my door slamming and my lights mercilessly flicking on. Shmarston stood in the door way with his boyish grin. I, on the other hand, was not smiling. Our conversation was quite similar to the following:

Shmarston: Wanna do me the biggest favor ever?
Kenzie: No.
Sh: Please!
K: OK, what?
Sh: Can you take me to "shmay-shmin's" house? I wanna build a snowman in her front yard for Christmas!
K: But it's 11:30..on Christmas Eve..
Sh: I would do it for you!
K: I would never ask you to...ask mom..
Sh: She's sleeping..
---------wait..what was I doing?!?
Sh: It'll only be 15 minutes!
K: Fine...
--------- Frustrated, I grab my blankets, thinking I could cat nap while he made his stupid snowman. Needless to say, it was much longer then 15 minutes..Turned out, I slept in my freezing car, in lady friend's driveway, on Christmas Eve/Christmas for an hour while my brother and lady friend made the snowman together.

I was starting to get emotional, probably from being cold, tired, stomach achy, and alone on Christmas, so I called my brother on his cell phone begging him to get in the car so we could go home. about 15 minutes later he came.....

Sh: Wow Makenzie, you couldn't wait ten more minutes??

This is when I lost it, burst into tears, and began speaking words that Shmarston could not understand due to my inability to refrain my sobs. But It probably sounded like so:

K: Feeenn mooooore FFimmitss?!?!?!?!? I fw-w-w-anna g-g-g-ooooo h-h-h-h-ooooooooome!! I-I-zzzz Ch-h-h-risssssmiissss!! U'mmm fr-reeeeeelly tired, nnnnn c-c-c-c-cooooooold, nnnn looooooonley, nnnn s-s-s-saaaaaad, nnnnn muh-muh-muh buh-buh-belly h-h-h-hurttttsss

Sh: woah..settle down..

So reader, that was my Christmas Eve/Early Christmas Morning. Slightly pathetic..BUT THAT'S OK! Just definitely another account of how a back bone would do me well. Maybe next year that's what I ask for from Santa...

Anybody Want a Turtle?

Seriously..

Dear old Bentley is a turtle. I do not know what kind though. My asian international student , Cen Chen, who lives with us during holidays says you can tell by looking at their belly.. but this means nothing to me.

I found Bentley in a pawn shop in China Town in early August while on a missions trip.

Never in my life have I ever wanted a turtle. never. But all of a sudden, when I saw Bentley, and noticed he was a mere nine dollars..I figured "eh, why not"

I thought the kids we were working with would be excited if we came to VBS the next day and they got to play with a real turtle..turns out, they couldn't play with him cuz of possible contamination..if this is the case..I probably shouldn't have been kissing his head...ugh..

He got his unique name from baby Bentley in "Sixteen and Pregnant". Not that I watch that show...really I don't..
and his middles name: mushu..well..my neighbor and I thought he should have an asian name since I found him in China Town..the only one I could think of was my brother's girlfriend..but I don't think she'd appreciate me naming my turtle after her..I probably would've done it anyway, but luckily my neighbor thought up "mushu".

I kinda wanna give him away.. not cuz I don't absolutely adore him..
but I'm tired of feeding him..I have to like..every week..and..sometimes he makes noises..

Explanation for the Unique Title

Welcome! My name is Makenzie Louise Dick and I am terrible with confrontation..

Good to know, I suppose, but how is this relevant? Let's just say my lack of spine has often "blessed" me with some slightly humorous life experiences my loving friends have challenged me to write about. Not sure how well I'll do at this new hobby referred to as "blogging", but we shall see!

But before I get too off track, let me account for the semi-unique title I have given this blog.

It started in November, I believe, but it feels much much longer...

My dad packs my lunch. I am not in the least bit ashamed of this because I know he enjoys it, and I'm not about to take that away from him. That would be quite selfish of me...

However, another thing father enjoys is making my lunches unique from all my peers'. It use to be cute little things like "ants on a log" or homemade trail mix, or melon pieces with little tooth picks sticking out of them.

The thing is though, I don't mind having a plain lunch. I'm usually so hungry that I'd inhale anything, literally. I've eaten some pretty janked up things in my past, but that's a story for a different day. But in early November, dad decided it was time for something new.

Peanut Butter and Bologna Sandwhiches.

It's rather simple. You put two pieces of bread in the toaster. Once they become golden brown, you slap on a butt load of peanut butter. then you top it off with two slices of balogna. You then refridgerate the sandwhich until the next day when your daughter takes it to school, who also must let it sit in her locker until 12:30. By then, the toast is quite soggy...but I digress...

Reader, I'm sorry to offend you if you, indeed, enjoy peanut butter and balogna on soggy toast..but gosh, I find it in no way appealing!

But I'm generally not one to complain, so I ate it, all of it. Sure, I felt a tad queezy afterwards, but I figured this was one of dad's experiments that he would eventually move on from after he thought of a new, maybe less creative sandwhich to make me.

Well..not quite. It's been about three months now, and I am still eating peanut butter and bologna. Even If I somehow liked this combo, I think I'd still be tired of eating it everyday...

After a bit of prodding from my sympathetic friends, who have taken small bites of my sandwhich in order to experience what my taste buds endure daily, I decided to bring this issue up. Not to my dad, of course..I just can't hurt his feelings..so I decided to do the next best thing; talk to someone my dad is kind of close to...my mom.

Basically, mom told me that is was a "Dick" thing. And that those sickk sandwhiches are a favorite among the..Dicks..

Great. Some kids feel pressured to be atheletic like their parents. Other kids wanna be musical like their parents..The only tradition I was afraid of upholding...enjoying peanut butter and bologna like my parents...ughhh.

Well - occassionally dad packs me something else..Today was bologna on ritz crackers..yesterday was a peanut butter and butter sandwhich..

But it never lasts...No, almost without fail, the next day my little brown sack contains that less-than-tasty peanut butter and bologna sandwhich...

Maybe someday I'll build up enough nerve to tell my parents I hate this sandwhich..
But then again..I graduate in only 5 months...I've come this far...whats 5 more months... :)